By John & Jimmy Flynn
A fun-loving sea captain pulls an undead body out of the ocean, accidentally unleashing a zombie virus on his Halloween booze cruise.
Feature-length Movie | Comedy, Horror
Think of Zombieland
meets Deep Blue Sea.
Synopsis
All aboard!
Captain Ralph Macky wishes there was an easier way to make money on Halloween, besides running his annual “Zombie Cruise Ship.” Together with his overworked crew, Ralph must entertain a rambunctious slate of passengers that includes zombie cosplayers covered in gruesome prosthetics, cranky retirees armed with coolers of booze, a 21st birthday party full of frat bros and aggressively drunk bachelorettes.
Making things worse, a sleazy lawyer, Chet Lasuda, brings two lawsuits against Ralph: one from the ship’s gay Maitre’d, Sammy Barnes, who Ralph unwittingly called a “cocksucker,” and the other from Ralph’s ex-wife, Jackie Schitzkum, who shows up on Chet’s arm and wants to seize Ralph’s boat. There’s also a nosy reporter, B.B. “the Bird Dog” Burnette, asking pointed questions about Ralph’s checkered past. And on top of everything, the boiler that powers Ralph’s boat is on its last legs—held together with a couple rolls of duct tape.
Quaking at the overwhelming obstacles, Ralph summons the courage to set sail, thanks to a pep talk from Allie Sanders, his first mate and steady girlfriend. At sea, the passengers mingle, while guzzling seafood stew and highly alcoholic “Zombie Juice” brewed by the ship’s salty chef, Marcos Jiménez. Everything seems ship-shape, until the middle of the “Zombie Fashion Show,” when Ralph hears his cabin boy, Quoc scream, “MAN OVERBOARD!”
Ralph calms his passengers by pretending it’s all part of the evening’s festivities, then scrambles to rescue the barely breathing man, who possesses an undead, orange-ish glow. Upon closer inspection, Ralph finds an attached ID card that reveals a name not on his list of passengers—an anomaly that prompts Ralph to ask, “Then-then-then, why does he look like a zombie?”
Hoping to buy time so he can answer this question, Ralph stows the body in his Captain’s Quarters, then returns topside to find his dance floor taken over by frat boys and bachelorettes. While Ralph attempts to regain control of his ship, the man he saved suddenly emerges on deck and proceeds to vomit up an orange ooze that infects passengers and turns them into brain-dead barfers of the same ooze.
Seeing his ship overrun by “zombies,” Ralph must lead an escape before everybody onboard succumbs to the contagious goop. Drawing from his scandalous history as a captain in the Coast Guard, Ralph comes up with a plan: radio for help, load his ragtag crew of survivors into a lifeboat, then overload the boiler and blow up his ship before a drop of ooze makes it to shore. With the odds stacked massively against him, the fate of the world depends on Captain Ralph Macky sinking his prized Zombie Cruise Ship.
Script
Bible
